Although it is only October, the supermarkets are already awash with mince pies and towns across the country have started to put up their Christmas lights. Christmas is not far away and for separated parents, now is exactly the right moment to think about plans.
If you and your ex-partner cannot quite agree on how the festive season should work, mediation can be a good option and, the earlier you start, the better chance it has of being successful.
What is Family Mediation?
Family mediation is a voluntary, confidential process where a neutral, trained mediator helps you talk things through and reach your own agreement. The mediator does not take sides and does not decide anything for you. Their job is to help you have a balance conversation and to find arrangements that work for your children. Together, you stay in control of the process and the outcome.
Why do it now, not in December
Christmas and the plans for Christmas can be emotive but also difficult to navigate in practical terms when there is a lot to sort out and other family members to factor in. The closer Christmas gets, the more fraught things can become.
Starting early takes the pressure off. You have time to think calmly and carefully, without pressure at a pace set by you, about what will work for your family and your children.
It also means that whatever you agree is settled well before the schools break up, so the children know the plan and can look forward to it.
The real benefits for your family
- Because you work together to find solutions, your co-parenting relationship is better protected both at Christmas and through the year.
- The arrangements that you agree are tailored to your family because not all families are the same and will have different traditions and plans.
- Mediation can be a more cost-effective option, certainly compared with the expense of going to court.
- Depending on their age and maturity, children can be involved through what is called child-inclusive mediation, provided you both agree. For some families, hearing what the children themselves would like can be really beneficial.
- It goes without saying that plans that have been agreed between you have a much greater chance of working than something that has been imposed on you by a Judge who will have a limited understanding of your family dynamics and needs.
Christmas should be about the children, not about conflict. Mediation gives you a calm, affordable, flexible way to agree the festive arrangements in advance with the children’s happiness being the priority.
If you would like to explore mediation for this year’s arrangements, please get in touch with Suzy Hamshaw sooner rather than later — the earlier you start, the easier it is to get everything in place in good time.
This article is general information, not legal advice. Every family’s situation is different, so do take advice tailored to your own circumstances.